disregards all of my interests and work i do

swaggert's sausage frozen is a favorite

fast food favorites

 wendys  chili

burger king  chicken nuggets ice cream cone or cup

hardeee's breakfast with coupon

subway   footlong steak and cheese /cold cut combo

kfc

domino's

churchs chicken

you haven't had to pay any rent

never celebrates new years eve

you owe me 6 thousand dollars for that vehicle you're driving that i bought and maintain

notices immediately if i am wearing any makeup even a slight amount

thinks only current words and actions count. forgets what he said and did in the past

mother beat the dance out of him and all 10 kids

aggravated constantly

trouble making decisions. especially when spending any amount of money

mother imitator. acts just like mother and other family. can't help it

talk radio political is main interest listens to daily for hours on end: blocks me out

worships strangers of high status

has no respect or appreciation of me or anyone he knows personally

lives in a fantasy world of admiring those in the media news he does not know personally

inflexible. rigid. fixed. unable or extremely difficult to change anything

mind is like a fixed rock

changes in anything upset him tremendously

plants furniture in place expects it to stay there forever

each action is identical to yesterday and last year and all years

 

product of upbringing in poverty. it can't be changed. no amount of love or good will affect his attitude

rarely compliments or appreciates anyone or anything. lacks gratitude and joy

focus is on flaws, mistakes, negative, disasters, bad feeling things

energy level highest in morning 9 am to noon or so

 usually up around 730 am to 8 am

wants to get up and go somewhere

walking at cave springs park is the usual

rarely goes to different park but will sometimes

 i'm going to get rid of you and find somebody else

i'm going to find a woman who works

all you do is the dishes and the laundry

you don't do anything around here

you don't help me

you don't do anything right, the way i want it done, the right way

you are worthless

i haven't hurt you

if i really wanted to i would have/could have hurt you

quit saying things that have happened

why are you always in a bad mood .. said each time i remind him of the awful rotten

horrid threatening terrorizing things he has said and done to me and anyone or any animal or

anything else

you can't do much of anything

you don't understand

i know what is going on in the world, you don't pay attention to it

holiday christmas lights are ridiculousness   what a waste of money

i dont like july 4 fireworks are a waste of money all it does is create smoke and pollution pollute the air

kids children pets are nothing but a nuisance

some people don't deserve to eat

why are you so hard to get along with

why don't you cooperate

you don't pay attention

you don't listen

why don't you do what i say

what's wrong with you

i don't understand you

i can't understand ....

you have no class

you're pretty

you're beautiful 

you're sexy

pre-made instant everything preferred

doesn't like window shopping because thinks you have to buy something when going into a store

easily influenced by sales tactics and outside influences

unhappy upset about outside events the world circumstances continually

unhappy about other people constantly

says he loves me

loves me more than any woman he's every known

worries about me

worries when i am gone

says be careful every time i am leaving to go out

He stays signed out of email on computer laptop

signs out of ebay and any other websites

including craigslist

does not choose to remember passwords on sites

whereas I leave myself signed in on sites and don't care of

someone sees my email, ebay or facebook or anything

he says he hates fbook and won't use it

However he uses his cell phone for looking at emails

and gets text messages daily

and stays signed in with google email on the phone

Today he said he is finding a different email provide

due to the 2 step process google wants and i guess is requiring now

why?

Taking care of myself is the best thing I can do.

Cut emotional bonds with any fake individuals

who are mean, immature and don't love anybody.

A bully wants me and you to feel bad about ourselves.

a bully is a coward and a fool.

has nothing on me. son says there is no competition, why did you choose losers; you could have had any man you want, mom

Scared to death when I am not talking. When I meditate in silence, light or dark, day or night.

 is he afraid i am figuring this out

Focuses on my "faults" constantly to make me feel wrong, stupid, bad, worthless. A ploy to keep me from truth of his own faults and badness,

Sneaky. Always watching me and everyone else everywhere: At home, in public, shopping, restaurants, any and every where.

 I went outside to add some trash to the 2 bags of garbage at the end of the driveway

tonight and found 6 adult porn pornography mens magazines, 3 in each

bag.  Unusual titles I haven't seen before: not playboy or anything common

like that. Where he got them, when he got them and what he was doing and

does with this porn material, I do not know.

Bags are tied up in solid knots which I could not undo by hand so I

cut them open with a knife so I could add the trash to them.

He always solidly ties up the garbage he puts out. The limit is 2

bags a week in Kansas City.

He used to use zip ties that have to be cut with a box knife or 

some other very sharp object. I have always told him that 

regular twist ties that can be manually twisted are better

for me then I can add more trash to the bag if necessary.

Like almost everything else, he continues to do what he

does regardless of the sense it makes or whether or not 

it upsets me or makes my life more difficult.

fault finding critical to a fault hypercritical hypervigilant

 when i have been disrespected at any job or by any person

his response has always been

"just do you job"

(and put up with it, any form of abuse by anyone anywhere)

he has never confronted any person who mistreated me

he has not  defended me

instead he blames me for any negative incident

saying things like

"you are a magnet for trouble"

which is the same belief he has about any other entity

FOMO FEAR OF MISSING OUT SYNDROME

Externally motivated

 always looking OUT there