Makes up excuses, reasons why something is, someone said, did anything and why I can't do whatever it is

Cant understand church volunteers or any type food pantry or anyone donating anything

 Without expecting something in return

Goes to bed pissed wakes up mad spends entire day losing temper over anything

 Understanding dismissive behavior and why it happens

Thinks physical body, looks, money, material things, food are things to be happy about yet is never content

Fault finding nitpicking controlling nagging miserable. Blames the world and others. Not introspective. Unwilling to look at self and change.

 Expects others to change to suit him/her

Rarely happy, if not never happy, joyful

Lacks gratitude, appreciation of what he has and what is. Constantly upset angry dissatisfied about lots of things

He does not appreciate my beauty or intelligence and everyone else does

Weasels into other peoples lives

He does this and accused me of doing it. 

He has way of gaining trust from family neighbors friends and they end up giving him money and many things which he promptly saves for himself. Spends large amounts of money on luxuries for himself.

Doesn't want me to go to school. Formal education out of the question. MONEY and my ability are issues

Rude, rash quick fix already made things and people

 Doesn't want to wait for anything

fast driving, in a rush

fast food, instant ready premade items preferred

fast to say anything rotten and mean to me especially then can't understand why i stay away 

will say 'you're too sensitive' after i say something about rude impolite behavior

breaks neck to get there fast and first

has no consideration of others /me and consequences of words and actions

Not in the library

Full of contradictions

 I love you yet says and does things that are contrary and complimentary 

eg: buys me a thing such as vehicle, membership then restricts usage of it making snide comments about the use of it

I want you to be happy then acts like a shit head with invalidation, constant criticism, controlling behavior 

I dont want you to go/ Get the fuck out of here, out of my face

vacillates constantly

trouble making decisions

doesnt know what he wants then is absolutely firm on wants

Remembers and reminds me about everything he does, forgets what i do

Go somewhere dont ask for or want anything

 It costs too much money

Church: A refuge for victims of household abuse

 And the victim is to be nice and silent accepting forgiving the dictator hitler in their house

Churches religions teach forgiveness and prayer 

As if thats going to stop the abuser

All it does is enable the abuse 

Dont talk about it, instructions from narc

 What crap goes on at home is never to be disclosed discussed with anyone according to narc house rules

Dont say anything is their rule mantra motto

Dont tell anyone what i say or do

Dont expose my asinine behavior to the world

Narc talks shit about everyone to me but never to their face

Narcs stick together

 They may remain apart appearing even to hate each other but they say and do the same things just like family

Supporting and sharing rot rotten things ideas stuff activities entire belief systems together

Share nasty stuff like porn, thievery, criminal activities, child and wife abuse or animal cruelty amongst some,

Temper tantrum shit fit before going to the zoo today

 Same old pushy shit

In a rush to get there, get that, do that

 Hurried

Pushes people

Underestimates time it takes to do things

Monetary value placed on everything

Not an investment here can't fill boat with holes in it

Another psycho fit last night

 This time about the washer washing machine

It's making loud noises

My fault as usual

Food choices are mostly TRASH like that of a child

 sugar sweetened beverages: tea soda

ice cream

cookies

prepackaged instant boxed or canned, frozen or refrigerated

instant anything

candy 

candy bars

cake

cupcakes

muffins

cereal

fast food

Immature emotionally. Financially responsible: work, duties done automatically

 He would never take a test or admit to it however the way he acts seems like a child age 2-10

eyeing everything and everyone, 

easily provoked

jealous

stingy

rude

no filter on mouth

irrational

impulsive

angers instantly

blames others for his behavior

says others provoke him

won't take responsibility for his words or actions unless deemed good and productive

all bad things blamed on other people

never his fault

whines, temper tantrums, fits

accusations

HOW in the world is he going to grow up? OR, will he ever become a mature adult?

Food and drink, thoughts, activities equals mood

He takes the intitiative on all things and gets mad at me for doing to same thing

He's been trained like a dog

He's been trained like a dog

instant reactions to stimuli of any kind

atom/hydrogen bomb anger over any sight, smell, sound, taste he doesn't like

lacks patience to sit in silence and think slowly about anything

jumps around like a mexican jumping bean with knee jerk reactions

the sugar has total control of him he refuses to acknowledge it

he is unaware that he is brainwashed 

screams and yells that any and everyone else has been 

brainwashed by the mainstream media and 

he is totally unwilling/unable to look

at himself, be self reflective 

unable to question himself about anything he thinks then says and does

claims whatever he does is his own choice and has not been

influenced or affected by anyone

says "i have a mind of my own, i think for myself"

reacts without slowing down enough to think before speaking or acting

used to eating fast food trash that is called food

trash food created by money mongers, some sitting in labs 

making up fake stuff that tastes really good so once you

eat or drink it you can get hooked, start craving it

and can't stop once you start

links/ties in one thing with another, bonding a piece of information to

something else that was advertised. subliminal programming has occurred,

the slickest method of hypnotizing a person

autocratic dictator

mysognist woman hater

prejudiced

automaton robot

adheres to false beliefs calls them truth and reality

no ability to reason, use logic and common sense with anything that is

not a material object

extremely picky about what he eats, gets for himself, where he goes, the way his 

hair is cut and combed, his appearance, teeth, clothes, shoes and

criticizes my choices and preferences 

and buys whatever he wants, many purchases i know about are 

large, substantial sums of money. i have no idea what else he buys

or has bought. he prefers cash which is not traceable or trackable

watches closely to keep tabs on how much money he thinks i have and

makes certain that i cannot make any small or large purchases without his approval

apparently wants total control and domination of me in order

to feel superior. acts superior to me and anyone else.

will give me 100 dollars (once gave me 300 to use on annual gym membership) with 

a birthday card but then won't go with me anywhere to celebrate. if we go

out to eat he constantly complains about the cost/price of the food at the

restaurant unless it is a fast food place that has a cheap deal

doesn't want to and refuses to do activities that are a fun

experience, even if it is free, even if someone else pays for it,

unless it is a walk at the one park he likes to go to--

even then most of the time he doesn't walk with me but goes ahead faster on

his own saying he needs to get his heart rate up by moving fast (a thing 

the media pushes)

shopping trips at a store include him contsantly monitoring whereabouts of

my purse, coat, frequently telling me i don't need a sweater, jacket or coat 

when we are going into a place that i know has freezing cold air conditioning

him telling me not to get anything out of my purse--the people working there

might think i am stealing something--don't squat down to look at anything

on lower shelves,  don't talk to people...

just a constant telling me not to do this or that during 

the entire shopping trip

He just threw another psycho fit at my mealtime again

 11-2-2023 4:30 pm on

"one of these times i'm gonna smack you !"

He makes sure not to spend much money on anything when i am with him

 Spends unknown amounts of cash on himself