https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-of-a-psychopath
Friday, June 30, 2023
Deliberately does things I don't like. Claims he/she didn't do it or JUSTIFIES words /actions of malice
says said or did it for my own good
claims i have no common sense and can't think for myself and i don't know what i need or want
Wednesday, June 28, 2023
Does not want me to dress in any way that shows off my body : curves flesh figure shape
will become violent if i start to leave home house and am not dressed covered up or dressed plainly
don't wear
anything showy
flashy bright colors
shiny glossy
tight too skin tight
hole in hose hosiery socks
slits in clothing
cuts splits tears
glitter glittery
definitely no tattoos
jewelry ; preferably NONE
makeup ; very very minimal or NONE
Appreciates nothing I do
such as dishes, cooking, shopping, cleaning, laundry, errands, mowing grass, any type of any work or duties or any ideas I have, suggestions, thoughts,
zero zip nada
takes credit for all
makes all decisions
overrides whatever I do
moves things around that i put in places
Anger fumes when another person gives me something
be it an item, money, a compliment virtually anything nice
ripped a necklace off my neck that a man named bob mendenhall gave me . bob insisted on putting the necklace silver chain on me. bob also kept giving me other gifts things like fancy ink pens
ignores when i get a compliment from anyone be it man woman or child
Tuesday, June 27, 2023
Asks my opinion and ignores it
Frequently done. Why ask my or anyone else what they think when you already have your mind made up and know what you are going to do??????
Screams at top of his lungs in anger, upset when I mentioned having a sale "I'm NOT SELLING my stuff !! " and
"People don't want to pay any money for things at a garage sale. "
Politically aware and informed . Is on democrat side
Fights frequently. Looking for a fight
Has to be right all of the time.
Calls others stupid often.
All you gotta do is move things around
All you gotta do is move things around
says this alot. Thought pattern
in reference to things in the refrigerator, all things in the house
hoarder words mentality saving too much stuff
can't get rid of things throw things away
Monday, June 26, 2023
Mother jealous of daughters hated them treated much worse than sons boys she gave birth to
insanely jealous, especially the youngest girl, being the most beautiful, the prettiest
============================================
sandy; got married 4 kids
dorothy; never married no children
carol; never married no children
sharon sherry; married 2 kids, divorced ran husband off
karen; never married unwed had 1 daughter out of fear of her eggs going bad due to age of 40 so deliberately hunted for a man to get her pregnant then she accused him of all sorts of insanity including attempted murder as she did almost everyone else.
Type of person who would throw a child into the lake without teaching them how to swim first then laugh as the child drowns
while fighting to live gasping for air.
Entire family fights narcs takers. Mother laid eggs like a snake does.
Snakes don't have mammal moms who care for their young being loving and nurturing. They operate on primal instinct, basic needs for survival such as eating food, sleep, work, sex.
Brains are not developed the same as those beings who care for their babies almost selflessly.
Communications skills are limited to the most basic functions, FEAR being the primary emotion.
Sunday, June 25, 2023
Saturday, June 24, 2023
Waits until last minute or day of the get a holiday card and or gift for someone
To pay bills but gets paid on time because doesn't want to pay late fee
Looks at everything as a FIGHT
does not even want to hear about going with the flow of nature
figuring out how to make things pleasant and easier
Friday, June 23, 2023
The Way The System Works
Abusers don't seek help. Victims do.
Mental behavioral health care center only accepts those coming from the emergency room
Mentally ill people must seek help on their own. Another person who suffers from their abuse can do nothing to make them get help.
Police will detain a person who commits physical or mental abuse such as a threat to harm a person if the victim files a report.
An order of protection can be filed by the victim who is required to appear in court and face the abuser in court. The accused abuser will face charges in court then the judge determines the punishment and or sentence
The perpetrator abuser will be released back into civilian society after paying bail, paying money for a fine, serving a sentence and will return to the same place or places and or revert to the same or more behaviors that are against the law. The abuser often returns to hurt the same people or more different additional persons and will get by with this abusive behavior for many years until a serious crime is committed such as murder
Verbal emotional mental abuse can occur unreported to authority for many years. It can continue chronically with no punishment, no consequences to the criminal perpetrator while a victim continues to be abused mentally or physically. No one does anything about it.
Grey Rocking. ...Save my energy instead of wasting it on toxicity
https://www.betterup.com/blog/grey-rocking
EVERYTHING MUST BE ABOUT I ... CAN'T APPRECIATE OR GIVE CREDIT TO ANYONE ELSE personally known
i did this
i have this
i own this and i have all this money
i am right, you are wrong
you have no right to be yourself, think for yourself, have your own preferences because......
you should be doing that, you need to do what I tell you to do and be what I say you should be
i told you so
i think this and that and that is how it should be there is no other way than my way of thinking
says you are unacceptable
says you have intolerable behavior
says i am not putting up with that YET acts like a pure D ASS HOLE and BITCH themselves
can't understand unique qualities of anyone or any thing, uniqueness not accepted amongst personal crowd of people, family BUT will admire adore suck up to certain celebrities people in power high positions in life yet has no clue or appreciation for their own personal crowd of people
criticizes people to death
wrapped up in the media: tv, television, radio, some books, magazines, newspapers
believes ideal life exists outside of themselves and their own clan because tv and other outside sources set the example of an ideal reality and their own wife husband spouse mate children cousins aunts uncles any family member is full of flaws and misses the ideal of the person they should be
stonewalls people often in order to try to control their behavior
doles out small bits of bread crumbs on rare occasion to show their "love" and "concern" and that they "care" about people in personal life in order to keep the fish on the hook with teeny pieces of bait
cannot express true intimacy love caring concern for anyone including themselves
empathy is gone lacking void most of the time
sympathy may pop up once in awhile if the victim person or animals has a visible missing limb body part is bleeding blood profusely has a visible injury
invalidates the pain suffering of people known personally yet will feel so soooo sorry for a person in the media, a stranger they don't know and never will when it is in the news that they suffered a loss a disaster
invalidates by saying "oh its not that big a deal" "you just don't want to do it" "you have to get used to it (the pain of overdoing something and doing stuff you are not designed to do)"
"if you really wanted to blank blankety blank then you would ..blankety blank "
"it's not that bad" "you have it easy" "other people have it a lot harder than you"
"you don't deserve...."
accuses other people of not appreciating, being appreciate, being ungrateful and in ingrate when the fact is they themselves do not truly appreciate anyone or anything
accuses other of not working hard enough
says the self works very hard and no one else works as hard as they do
tries to get most money out of whatever they have for sell and pays the least for whatever they want buy need
thinks their stuff is worth more than it is
calls other people (NICE PEOPLE) stupid and fool foolish naive a push over
out to take advantage of anyone (the nice fools) they can get to do their bidding
whatever i am doing says "you have it easy" " you think everything is free" "you don't work" "you don't do anything around here"
compares self to others constantly
always watching what everyone else is doing
constantly looks at media outside to try to figure out what to do best thing
status appearance the way they look is paramount top prioirity
wants to appear and look good even perfect to outside world at all times never revealing their true mean nature to strangers neighbors
vicious mean hateful nasty at home to family mate spouse children anyone that lives with them then suddenly changes to sheepish like and smiling calm nice face as soon as a stranger appears
pushes other people to the limit yet won't tolerate being pushed in any way shape or form
will throw temper tantrums fit even yelling screaming raising voice throwing things when anything is wrong not going their way or anyone or any animal around does anything they don't like
chronically complains daily about most things and will not accept any solution to make things better nicer easier more pleasant
accuse own family of being mean evil rotten bad nasty not pleasant when in fact they are being acting bad mean rotten horrible intolerable with unacceptable behavior
Control freak
money
things material
work too much
not enough sleep
must direct what others do constantly
matriarch
Has zero gratitude appreciation for what he is, has or the people in his life.
Perhaps ought to lose it all, go down to zero things and no people ...?
Then might realize what he had :
LIFE, his body, mind, soul, spirit, energy, talents
THINGS
PEOPLE
I don't think he ever realized or appreciated anyone in his life or his abilities god given or any other status of anything in life besides MONEY
Wednesday, June 21, 2023
Tuesday, June 20, 2023
Sunday, June 18, 2023
How A Narcissist Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
How A Narcissist Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
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How A Narcissist Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
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How A Narcissist Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
Knowing how the narcissist thinks can help you understand toxic individuals.
By Joe Navarro — Written on Jul 29, 2020
Photo: Focus And Blur / ShutterstockHow A Narcissist Thinks (Warning: It's Pretty Messed Up)
We often hear the term “narcissist,” but in reality, what does that mean? Does it merely describe someone who likes to be the center of attention or likes the way he or she looks, or is there more to it?
The psychiatric literature defines narcissists as having specific traits such as having a sense of entitlement or requiring excessive admiration, to name a few. But what are narcissistic individuals really like on a day-to-day level?
How a narcissist thinks:
RELATED: Was Your Ex Insane? How To INSTANTLY Spot A Sociopath Or Narcissist
Anyone who has lived with or worked for a narcissist will tell you how a narcissist thinks: Narcissists view themselves entirely differently — i.e., preferentially — compared to others, making those around them less valued. And there’s the rub: everything must be about the narcissist.
We don’t mind that a two-year-old needs constant attention. That’s appropriate for the developmental stage of a two-year-old. But we do mind when a forty-year-old needs that level of appreciation — and achieving it comes at our expense.
Narcissists victimize those around them just by just being who they are, and they won’t change. That statement may seem extreme until you listen to the stories of those who have been victimized by a narcissist. Then you realize just how toxic these individuals are.
Work for a narcissistic boss and I can guarantee that he or she will make you physically or psychologically ill. Live with one and I fear for you. I can say that because in researching my book Dangerous Personalities, I talked to scores of individuals who have been victimized by narcissistic personality disorder.
In doing the research, in talking to the victims and listening to story after story of stolen childhoods, destructive marriages, and burdensome relationships, I heard the same tragic refrain: narcissists see themselves as being so special that no one else matters. No one. Over time, the behavior resulting from their defining pathological traits will cast a wide debris field of human suffering.
But don’t take it from me. Listen to the victims. Here's what I have learned about how a narcissist thinks and the lessons that no medical book can teach you. They are lessons for all of us.
1. I love myself and I know you do, too; in fact, everyone does — I can’t imagine anyone that doesn’t.
2. I have no need to apologize. You, however, must understand, accept, and tolerate me no matter what I do or say.
3. I have few equals in this world, and so far, I have yet to meet one. I am the best (manager, businessman, lover, student, etc.).
4. Most people don’t measure up. Without me to lead, others would flounder.
5. I appreciate that there are rules and obligations, but those apply mostly to you because I don’t have the time or the inclination to abide by them. Besides, rules are for the average person, and I am far above average.
6. I hope you appreciate all that I am and everything that I have achieved for you—because I am wonderful and faultless.
7. I do wish we could be equals, but we are not and never will be. I will remind you with an unapologetic frequency that I am the smartest person in the room and how well I did in school, in business, as a parent, etc., and you must be grateful.
8. I may seem arrogant and haughty, and that’s OK with me. I just don’t want to be seen as being like you.
9. I expect you to be loyal to me at all times, no matter what I do; however, don’t expect me to be loyal to you in any way.
10. I will criticize you and I expect you to accept it, but if you criticize me, especially in public, I will come at you with rage. One more thing: I will never forget or forgive, and I will pay you back one way or another because I am a “wound collector.”
11. I expect you to be interested in what I have achieved and in what I have to say. I, on the other hand, am not at all interested in you or in what you have achieved, so don’t expect much curiosity or interest from me about your life. I just don’t care.
RELATED: 11 Signs Your Personality Is Offensive (And You Don't Know It)
12. I am not manipulative; I just like to have things done my way, no matter how much it inconveniences others or how it makes them feel. I actually don’t care how others feel; feelings are for the weak.
13. I expect gratitude at all times, for even the smallest things I do. As for you, I expect you to do as I demand.
14. I only associate with the best people, and frankly, most of your friends don’t measure up.
15. If you would just do what I say and obey, things would be better.
As you can see, it is not easy living with or working with someone that thinks and behaves this way. The experience of these victims also teaches us the following and if you remember nothing else from this article, please remember this: narcissists over-value themselves and devalue others, and that means you. You will never be treated as an equal, you will never be respected, and you will in time be devalued out of necessity so that they can over-value themselves.
Tolerating the Narcissistic Personality
Knowing the traits of the narcissistic personality and how narcissists view themselves is useful, but so is knowing what will happen to you if you continue to associate with them. I say this while being well aware that in many cases, children, the elderly, or the infirm may not have a choice. In those cases, it is up to all of us as friends, relatives, teachers, coaches, associates, and co-workers to assist as best we can.
Also, there are those who, for reasons of finances, circumstances, or because they are in a complicated relationship or marriage, will choose to stick it out. To them I say beware: you will be victimized and you will pay a price, be it physically, psychologically, or even financially.
I say that from experience and from talking to many victims whose stories still burden my heart. If you do choose to live with or work with a narcissistic personality, be prepared to accept the following:
1. Accept that you are not equals because narcissists feel that they have no equals.
2. Those feelings of insecurity, dismay, disbelief, or incongruity that you are experiencing are real and will continue.
3. Because narcissists overvalue themselves, you will be devalued in time and at all the times after that.
You will, in essence, become the narcissist’s chew-toy. Gird yourself to be repeatedly degraded.
4. You will be talked to and treated in ways you never imagined, and you will be expected to tolerate it.
5. The narcissist’s needs, wants, and desires come first above all others, no matter how inconvenient to you.
6. Be prepared on a moment’s notice for them to turn on you with reptilian indifference at a moment’s notice...
As if any positive interactions in the past did not matter. You will question your own sanity as they turn on you, but that is your reality when involved with a narcissist.
7. When narcissists are nice, they can be very nice; but if you still feel insecure, that is because it is a performance, not a true sentiment.
Niceness is a tool for social survival—a means to get what they want, like needing a hammer to hang a picture.
8. You will lap up the narcissist’s niceness, poodle-like, because it doesn’t come often, but niceness for the narcissist is perfunctory; merely utilitarian.
9. Be prepared for when the narcissist lashes out not with anger, but with rage.
It is frightening! You will feel attacked and your sense of dignity will be violated.
10. Morality, ethics, and kindness are mere words.
Narcissists master these for their practicality, not for their propriety.
RELATED: 20 EXTREMELY Brutal Signs You're In Love With A Narcissist
11. Narcissists lie without concern for the truth because lies are useful for controlling and manipulating others.
When you catch them in a lie, they will say that it is you who is lying or wrong, or that you misunderstood. Prepare to be attacked and to receive counter-allegations.
12. If it seems that they can only talk about themselves, even at the oddest of times, it is not your imagination.
Narcissists can only talk about what they value most: themselves. That is their vacuous nature.
13. Narcissists will associate with individuals you would not trust to park your car because they attract those who see narcissism as something to value.
E.g., the power-hungry, the unscrupulous, profiteers, opportunists, and social predators.
Related Stories From YourTango:
If Your Child Is A Narcissist, You Probably Used This Bad Parenting Tactic
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If You Answer Yes To These 15 Questions, You're On The Narcissistic Spectrum
14. Never expect the narcissist to admit to a mistake or to apologize.
Never! Blame is always outward toward you or others, never inward. Narcissists have no concept of self-awareness or introspection. But they are quick to see faults in others.
15. They expect you to forgive and forget and above all never to challenge them or make them look bad in public.
You must remember that they always want to be perfect in public. Don’t embarrass them or contradict them publicly, or you will pay the price.
16. Get used to losing sleep, feeling anxious, restless, less in control, becoming increasingly worried, perhaps even developing psychosomatic ailments.
That is what happens when you live with or associate with a narcissist. Those insecurities are your subconscious talking to you, telling you to escape.
17. Lacking both interest and true empathy in and for you, narcissists absolve themselves of that pesky social burden to care, leaving you deprived, empty, frustrated, or in pain.
18. They will be unwilling to acknowledge even the smallest thing that matters to you.
In doing so, they devalue you, leaving you feeling unfulfilled and empty.
19. You will learn to deal with their indifference in one of two ways: you will work harder to get their attention — with little reward to you because it won’t matter to the narcissist — or you will become resigned and empty psychologically because narcissists drain you, one indignity at a time.
20. You will be expected to be their cheerleader at all times, even when it is you who needs encouragement the most.
This is the sad, unvarnished truth about how a narcissist thinks, how they will behave, and how they will make you feel. I wish it were a better picture, but talk to the survivors of these personalities and they will tell you: it is that bad, it is that toxic. Why? Because, as Stuart C. Yudofsky explained in his book Fatal Flaws: Navigating Destructive Relationships With People With Disorders of Personality and Character, the truly narcissistic personality is “severely flawed of character.”
For those who ask, “What can I do?” Conventional wisdom advises seeing a trained professional for guidance. That is wise but not always available. In my experience, there is only one solution that works.
Distance yourself from these individuals as soon as you recognize them for what they are and as soon as it is practical. Get as far as you can from them and as your wounds heal, you will see your life change for the better and your dignity restored. As painful as distancing yourself may be, it is often the only way to make the hurting stop and to restore your own physical and mental well-being.
Curious about how to spot a narcissist? Check out the video below for the can't-miss signs:
More for You:
The 3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them
5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person
7 Unsexy Habits That Demolish Your Likeability
10 Little Habits That Make You IRRESISTIBLY Attractive
Joe Navarro, M.A. is a 25-year veteran of the FBI and is the author of the international bestseller, What Every Body is Saying, as well as Louder Than Words and Dangerous Personalities. Joe can be found on Twitter: @navarrotells or on Facebook.
This article was originally published at Psychology Today. Reprinted with permission from the author.
OCD Obsessive compulsive disorder . Hard on self and everyone else
what if is said all the time
berates self and anyone and me if makes a mistake slips up forgets goofs
Goes all out to get what he wants and best for self. Will not allow me or get me exactly what I want or do things with me I want to do
comes up short. refuses to do anything with me that I like most of the time
if he does do anything with me he makes it a miserable horrible experience with his nasty hateful mean attitude then blames me and says i am being nasty
June 2023 He is drinking flavored rum and other small single serving bottles of liquor, usually rum sometimes whiskey
at 2.39 per single serving at the liquor store
said bought at price chopper was more expensive
Thursday, June 15, 2023
Finishes my sentences for me. Will not listen to end of what I am saying.
thinks he knows what I am going to say and is most often wrong in jumping to conclusions
Tuesday, June 13, 2023
i worry about you ....
while i act like a bitch bastard to you run you off often
pushing you into dangerous places and positions because of my vicious attitude
which makes you feel like i hate your fucking guts
the world is a terrible place full of treachery takers liars thieves...
criminals
steal things
out to get you
i don't want to .................... says frequently
eat that food ...........i dont like the way it tastes
do that activity .. that i don't like
listen to that ... hear you say the truth
listen to you .. i'd rather listen to world rot news fake shit fighting bs crap
be happy
be joyful
appreciate anything .... especially you or anything you do represent think feel
read what you write .... at any time
watch any video tv show movie story that you suggest or like
think realize digest any moral to any story anywhere at any time
immature childish
rages fits temper tantrums
refuses to take responsiblity for self in nasty mocking ways ..will not tolerate being mocked will lash out in anger threaten to hit punch slap and has slapped fisted me in face and knocked me down more than once
faithless, doubtful, skecptical says i can't believe all of the time even over things that actually happen
miserable
never plans fun things
enjoys takes pleasure in watching misery sadnesss of others .. i think he likes to hurt people and takes pleasure in seeing me down out depressed sad
rips away any thing that makes me happy anything i like to do that is fun makes me feel good
a real miser scrooge grinch
says i will smash it if i find it .. referring to objects i like
narrow minded blames smoking on every bad health issue and/or drinking alcohol ..cannot see any other substances or attitudes that cause mental emotional or phyical health problems
mean cruel rotten vicious
rotten personality
hateful killer
narrow minded
prejudiced
hard working body and believes doing that is necessary to have money worshipped the most
calls other stupid and dumb ass and kids frequently
vain, cowardly, small minded, petty,
once in a great while will show sympathy kindness tenderness towards an animal like a cat we have then turn around and say i dont want any cats they are nothing but a nuisance
Sunday, June 11, 2023
Stores things at other peoples houses
Stash stuff at the neighbors
Might stash things in other places I don't know about
Likely because he's secretive sneaky
Friday, June 9, 2023
Sunday, June 4, 2023
Childhood is permanent
Any damages are recreated reconstructed through out adult hood,..unless they realize miraculously that they suffered serious emotional abuse and react accordingly
Will donate money to chosen cause/organization/club group
Religious orgs (gma)
Political orgs/news/sci (mls)
Saturday, June 3, 2023
Best for himself worst to me
High quality choice self chosen items for self. Highest best expensive premium premo top of the line long lasting all the way.....regarding food drinks clothes tools auto automobile stereo electronics amps turntable speakers reel player tv television movie theaters shoes cleaning products solvents metal detectors coins money music books tapes Cd compact disc streaming broadcast services like Pandora , hunting equipment, hobbies, magazines, books, trips, vacations
Purchases lavish items for self: whatever things they like value choose
Cheapest lowest for me. I am to do with the least have nothing fancy frilly premium expensive
I am to operate minimally, simply, manually, with the least, ,,, plainly, lean, leanly, .i am to keep my mouth shut expect nothing, never call them out on this behavior or anything they do
Friday, June 2, 2023
expects immediate results what he wants. drivers on the road are cussed at called stupid constantly
and anyone playing music he doesnt like he bitches about during whole time less than a minute of them playing their music in their own car
Eats without thinking : HABITUAL thoughtless mindless food cramming
dessert right after meal random sweet snacks cakes cookies pie donuts bars ice cream
stands up with eating preparing food
sticks fingers in mouth licks fingers unconsciously keeps doing it transferring mouth germs onto containers and food will not listen to what i say about this nasty disgusting habit
Thursday, June 1, 2023
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